There are quite a few things I have on my side in this venture:
- in general I was lucky to get help before I became as incapacitated as many Lyme patients become
- although the antibiotics kicked my ass, they did kill some of the bastards before coming here
- my body has muscle memory, so those enzymes are starting to come alive and kick in...finally
- restricted diets are the life story of a celiac, whats a few more things added to the list lol
- I like things warm (maybe not hyperthermy high, but pretty high) Brian will vouch for that
- I am really, really, really pigheaded (Brian might vouch for that too)
But together all of those things are really helping me through this process and without sounding overly optimistic, I think progress is really going well already!
The one thing I will give the doctor in New York is that she had the best handle on what this disease does, how it affects someone and what happens to you as your body fights it. I am very grateful to have been treated by her because she knows it better than anyone I have ever met. So many times I think back to the things she told me and know, had it not been for her, I would be very worried, scared and demotivated during this process. She clearly is a leader in this field. I think the medical profession in Canada could learn loads from her, if they would just listen.
So I am not telling you the rest of this information to scare you. Things are going very well. But if this is to be a log that may help another Lyme patient through this process, I need to be honest about all that is happening. And because of the doctor in NY, I know this is to be expected. The one thing she explained to me is that as the bacteria dies off in certain parts of your body, you often relive many of the symptoms and sometimes at a higher intensity.
The paralysis in my left side is really evident today, even more than before. I literally can't my arm the same as my right. It is funny how it feels normal until you try and use it for something and it just doesn't cooperate. So not a good day to buy eggs.
I temporarily lost feeling in my thighs today. I didn't normally have that problem, it was my right foot and left shin that had lost feeling. But it came and left today. Weird but kinda cool...now that it's gone. Sure tells me stuff is happening...I picture bastards dropping all over the place, in my body.
My anxiety has spikes, pretty good spikes, but short lived, unlike before. I never knew what anxiety really was until I got sick. Don't get me wrong, I can be intense and anxious and always have been. I know some of you are chuckling right now. Okay, so that is a bit of an understatement. But it was absolutely nothing compared to how it developed while being sick.
Two good things that came out of this experience is that I have a huge appreciation for how crippling anxiety can be. It can make the strongest person, completely incapable. I also learned it is not just about changing your thoughts, it can come on in a flash and take over your whole body and there is very little you can do to even alleviate it the tiniest bit. Anxiety is a life changer that I have a little insight into now. I wish there was something I knew to do for people that struggle with it, because I had no idea before.
In my attempt to deal with anxiety, I learned and tried many stress reduction techniques. Not many solved the anxiety problem per say. But I did start to realize it was not about one or another method, when you battle - you need to employ all methods. Every aspect of your day needs to be about managing it, and the more help the better. So I hope to continue to apply many of these and many more into my regular life, but hopefully they will be with the purpose of avoiding anxiety, not managing it.
The one side effect of recovery, that I do find hard to accept, is now my brain fog seems to be at an all time high. Its bad today, worse than it has been in a long while. I came here and used a gps for a couple of days and then was quite comfortable with where I was going. Even in recovery you can wake up and that information is gone. If someone says something to me, I have to sit and think it through a couple of times. I literally can't always comprehend what they are saying. I really find all the mind stuff disturbing. Lyme brain is a nice excuse once in a while. But I would quite happily go back to blaming it on my blondness and know it is not quite as significant as it is now. Maybe it is disturbing because I have heard from a couple of Lyme patients that the one thing that did not come back was their memory. But I am not just any Lyme patient. I am a pretty pigheaded one. And those "Wood" genes are good for memory, so I will not succumb to that one easily. Till then gps and voice recorded notes are my best friend.
AND, two of my friends are coming to Utah to stay for the weekend. Nothing more therapeutic than your crazy friends coming for a visit